Take a Knee to Take a Stand

A few months ago I went to a town hall meeting. It was hosted by the Republican congressman from the district next to mine (the one from my district is even worse). It was a packed house, with attendance seeming to fall close to even along party lines. Before the meeting began, the crowd was asked to stand and face the flag to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Everyone stood and turned towards the front-left corner of the large room where the flag was erected and chanted in unison.

I did not participate. As everyone else stood and recited, I remained in my seat and silent. From what I could tell, I was the only person in attendance to do so. I was honestly afraid I was going to catch a lot of hate for it, but my silent protest seemed to go largely unnoticed. Of course, I’m just some woman from Podunk, North Carolina. I’m not on any big stage or under any bright spotlight to where all eyes are upon me. The football players in the NFL however, are.

A year or so ago, San Francisco quarterback Colin Kapernick began a silent protest where, during the pre-game National Anthem, he knelt instead of standing (previously he sat). There was a public outcry as people demanded he stand for the Anthem, saying his actions disrespected America and the military. The turmoil ultimately concluded in his football career ending long before it should have. However, this year dozens of NFL players (as well as players in other sports) have followed his example. They kneel, they lock arms, sometimes they just stay in the locker room. Their protest has nothing to do with the armed forces. No, it was to draw attention to the epidemic of police brutality against African American men in America. Across the country, black men (and some women) are being gunned down during stops for minor infractions or even when they’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. These poor souls have lost their lives due to police racism. To make matters worse, the deceased often get no justice as the officers committing the crimes aren’t even charged. It’s disgusting, it’s unjust, and it absolutely needs to stop.

I join these people in solidarity. Their cause is just and their method is sound. I personally have not stood for the Anthem or the Pledge in at least a couple of years now.  What they’re speaking out about, what they’re drawing attention to, desperately needs to be a part of the cultural conversation right now. Of course, those who are decrying the action keep changing the subject. “How dare you disrespect the troops!” they yell, as if that had anything to do with their protest. “Find a more appropriate way to protest!” they whine, as if they’d be satisfied with any outcome other than black men going back to quietly doing what they’re told. And when they see me participating, it turns to, “why are you kneeling; you’re white!”.

First and foremost, I kneel because I agree with the message. The cause of equal justice for black Americans would be won by now if white people would lend their voices. For as much as I talk about transgender struggles on this blog (we’re getting to that, by the way), I’ll be the first to tell you that I unfairly enjoy an exorbitant amount of white privilege. I don’t experience fear when interacting with the police. I’ve never had my job application passed by because I had a “black sounding” name. I’ve never been labeled a thug. I’ve never worried that the legal system would impose on my a ludicrous penalty for a small infraction.  I’ve never had someone be afraid to sit near me or to walk past me on the street. That’s not my world, and it’s not fair that it’s theirs. Because of that, I kneel during the National Anthem.

But that’s not the only reason…

Before I keep going, I want to make one thing abundantly clear: when talking about National Anthem protests, the conversation needs to first and foremost be about the mistreatment of African Americans in our society, if it’s about anything else at all. That is the focus. It is where the spotlight must shine. I’m close to 800 words in now before even mentioning anything other than that and that’s very much on purpose. Black lives matter, and I’ll shout it anywhere, anytime. But I kneel for another reason, too. For as much as I enjoy white privilege, it can’t be denied that the United States has been really shitty when it comes to the treatment of transgender people and it’s only gotten worse in the years since marriage equality was finally legalized (that’s a tease for a future post).

In just the last year, the Justice Department has removed bathroom protections for transgender students. In just the last month or two, President Fuhrer Trump has tried to ban transgender people from serving in the military and Nikki Haley voted in the United Nations not to ban countries from executing gay people. In just the last week, Jeff Sessions announced that Title VII would no longer protect transgender people from workplace discrimination. We’ve fought bathroom bill after goddamn bathroom bill in states all over the country. America is trying very hard to make transgender people go away, and you wonder why I won’t respect a song honoring America?

You really think I’m going to be thankful for my freedom under these circumstances? You really expect me to stand up for a nation that keeps trying to kick me down? Hell no! I will not show this flag, this song, and certainly not this country that kind of respect; it hasn’t earned it. Let’s face a cold, hard truth: America is an embarrassment. I don’t even fly the American Flag outside of my house anymore. The last time I took it down because there was a storm coming I couldn’t stomach the thought of putting it back up. When I look at the Stars and Stripes, all I think about is the injustice, the intolerance, the bigotry, and the ignorance-worshiping nationalism it truly represents. When I see “Old Glory”, I think about all the times I’ve had to call my elected officials and beg them not to either kick me out of the bathroom or take away my healthcare. When I hear the National Anthem, I here a chorus of voices calling me a “freak”, a “monster”, a “deviant”, a “sinner”, and a “pervert”. I feel no pride in America, and I won’t pretend to.

Now, if you’re getting all red in the face while reading this and thinking ‘well just move if you hate America so much!’, this next part’s for you. I’m not going to do that. See, for as much as I consider America as a whole a dark spot on the world these days, there are plenty of Americans I’m rather fond of. There are wonderful people in my community, people who represent love, compassion, understanding, tolerance, and unity. I’m proud of my life and the things I’ve accomplished. I’m proud of my family. These are all things I’ve earned, not because of the promise of America, but in spite of what this nation has tried to keep me from. I will fight to see this nation transformed into what it has the potential to be. I will work tirelessly to ensure the promise of safety and prosperity is fulfilled for everyone. When we achieve that kind of America, then I will stand up with my hand over my heart and sing, “Oh say can you see…”

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So, About Cops at Pride…

I’m going to be honest up front. This is one of those topics where you’re not going to find me coming down on one specific side by the end. Some dilemmas just don’t have a definitive right answer. We’re still in June and there have been a ton of pride events happening all over the country. Just a day or two ago was the big parade in New York City, which was publicly televised for the first time ever. That’s a big deal. Of course, pride events are becoming common enough now to where disagreements are breaking out as to how they should be handled. One of the big controversies I keep seeing is the presence of police officers in the parades themselves. I’m not talking about just monitoring the event, but actually riding on floats and marching with rainbow flags. A lot of people have cried foul over this while others tout it as a sign of progression for the cause of LGBT rights. I’ve always been a hater of the saying “the truth is somewhere in the middle” and this situation is no different. The truth here isn’t so much in the middle as it is formlessly drifting between both factions like a wandering spirit that no one can quite catch.

Rather than pick a side (which I promise I’m not going to do), I think it’s more important to highlight the reasons both sides are technically right and then maybe work out an ideal outcome that I sadly know isn’t going to happen but should happen because it would be to the betterment of all involved. First off, let’s look at the pro-police side of this. There are some people against the presence of police at pride events due to the history these two groups share. After all, the first pride was a riot started by transgender women of color (never forget that!) after cops raided the Stonewall Inn and started arresting people for the apparently heinous crime of wearing clothing society deemed unsuitable for them. It was the first public act of defiance where the LGBT community dared to challenge the notion of their supposed immorality. Never forget, pride was a march before it was a parade and that march was against authority figures, including police.

Fast forward to today. Saying police shouldn’t be in pride parades based solely on the history of violence since before Stonewall seems contrary to the point of the movement in the first place. Is the whole point of all this not to bring society to the understanding that we’re nothing to fear? I don’t understand what progression even looks like if those who once stood against us don’t now stand with us. I had the same criticism of the “Bernie-bros” during the last election who criticized Hillary Clinton for…somehow having the audacity to stand up for LGBT rights. Yes, Bernie Sanders was always pro LGBT while Clinton was against gay marriage for the earlier parts of her political career. But Clinton clearly came around. She received the message, understood it, and changed her stance to fight for equality. What’s more, she’s a person with enough power and clout to effect broad change in our favor. And we’re going to throw all this away because we, for some reason, have to hold onto old grudges in spite of our goals? Um…okay?

It’s the same thing with the police. Seeing police marching in the parade is a clear sign of support where before it didn’t exist. It sends a message to some of the LGBT community (more on that in a minute) that they don’t need to fear law enforcement. A cop dancing on a rainbow float is not a cop that’s going to harass you for being queer, or disrespect your gender identity. These are all positive aspects of having police participate in pride parades.

HOWEVER…

There’s an uncomfortable truth underlying this whole situation that not enough people are talking about. I want you to imagine something. Close your eyes and picture a pride parade. It doesn’t have to be any specific one you’ve been to, just a parade in general. Picture all of the people in the parade. What are they wearing? What are they doing? You have the image yet? Okay…how many people in your vision are white? I’m willing to wager quite a bit. I’m also willing to go double or nothing that the majority of the people you envisioned were cisgender men. This happens because gay, white, cisgender men have become the poster-children of the whole LGBT movement. There’s is the face of pride no matter where you go. Think about all those cops marching and dancing in the parade. Now, make it a black LGBT parade where the vast majority of those in attendance are African American. Do you still think the police are going to be there? When Black Lives Matter peacefully protests racial discrimination, they’re met with cops in riot gear. There the cops are firing rubber bullets and tear gas, not waving flags and dancing.

See, the LGBT community has become so visible and so vocal that, to its detriment, it’s become a microcosm of society as a whole. Even in a group of people brought together by their shared experience of cultural ostracising, a hierarchy of privilege has managed to establish itself that places white, cis men at the top. As far as our overall culture is concerned, this is nothing new. We have a dark history of celebrating cultural achievements for certain groups without recognizing that not all of its members gained the same victory. Case in point, we’re coming up soon on the supposed 100th anniversary of women earning the right to vote, but it would be many decades after the 19th amendment’s ratification that African American women would gain the same rights. The LGBT movement is seeing a very similar pattern emerge in its fight for equality. It’s hard to argue that it’s easier to be LGBT in modern society when transgender women of color are the most at-risk demographic of people in the nation when it comes to likelihood of being murdered. Being a gay white person and a gay black person are still grossly unequal experiences, and that’s horrifyingly apparent in the way police treat each.

This is where my favorite generation ever, the Millennials, are making a difference. It hasn’t been until this latest group of young adults entered the fray that we’ve seen the trend of ‘first white then everyone else’ get some real push back. Even though we’re seeing the progress represented by cops joining in pride events, Millennials aren’t letting that hide the fact that they’re really only there because the event is predominately white. For the first time…probably ever, there’s a generation that truly stands for the notion of ‘no one is free until we’re all free. That’s awesome, and long overdue if you ask me.

I mentioned at the beginning that I don’t have a definitive side of this to fall on, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an ideal solution. See, I want to keep seeing cops at pride events because I recognize the progress that represents. However, if the cops want to keep waving rainbows and dancing to Gaga, they need to earn it by showing up to the next BLM protest with something other than riot shields and clubs. They need to actually decry the obscene rate of police brutality against the African American population. There are a lot of us fighting for equality. If the cops want to join our party, they need to prove that they’re there for all of us.